The Best of 'Yo Mama' Jokes (Updated)

Old Age

Yo Mama's so old...

1. That she owes Jesus money.

2. She was a waitress at the Last Supper.

3. Moses signed her yearbook.

4. She walked into an antique store and they kept her.

5. When she watched Jurassic Park it brought her memories.

6. She watches the History Channel to see if she's on it.

Obesity

 Yo Mama's so fat...

1. Even Dora can't explore her.

2. She uses cheat codes for Wii Fit.

3. When she died even Jesus couldn't lift her spirit.

4. I took a picture of her and it's still printing.

5. When she sits on the TV she made it flatscreen.

6. You mistake her boobs for mountains.

7. When she walked past the TV she missed three episodes.

8. She could've been the 8th continent if she swam in the ocean.

9. When she bungie-jumped she went straight to Hell.

10. The horse on her Ralph Lauren polo shirt is real.

11. She fell in love and broke it.

12. When she stepped on the scale your phone number came out.

13. Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

14. She stopped at a curb and her belly jaywalked.

Facial Beauty

Yo Mama's so ugly...

1. Her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

2. When she walks past the bathroom the toilet flushes.

3. Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that."

4. Her vibrator packed up and left.

5. Every time she looks into a mirror her reflection slaps her.

6. She made Frankenstein the next top model.

7. She gave Freddy Krueger nightmares.

8. Her yellow teeth caused cars to slow down.

Intelligence

Yo Mama's so stupid...

1. She thought Taco Bell is the name of a Mexican phone company.

2. She thought Osama Bin Laden was three different terrorists.

3. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

4. She went to the Super Bowl with a spoon.

5. She put a peek hole on the glass door.

6. She got run over by a parked car.

7. She got locked on a motorcycle.

8. She puts M&Ms in alphabetical order.

9. She put two quarters to her ears and said she was listening to 50 Cent.

10. She thought a quarterback is a refund.

11. She failed her blood test.

12. She tried to close a revolving door.

13. When she's in court and the judge says "order", she asked for a burger and fries.