The 2011 Guide To Making People Feel Old


Source: - Thanks Etienne!

Child Slavery

Cyanide and Happiness

Sci-Fi Football Clubs

Superman Renounces U.S. Citizenship


Time to tweak that catchphrase "truth, justice and the American way"? Superman is renouncing his U.S. citizenship in DC's new "Action Comics #900."

According to, in the story, Superman is scolded by a member of the president's security staff for appearing at a protest in Iran, with the notion that Superman's actions reflect the positions of U.S. government as a whole.

"I'm tired of having my actions construed as instruments of U.S. policy," Superman says in a panel featured on

The move was sparking differing reactions.

"Besides being riddled with a blatant lack of patriotism, and respect for our country, Superman's current creators are belittling the United States as a whole. By denouncing his citizenship, Superman becomes an eerie metaphor for the current economic and power status the country holds worldwide," Hollywood publicist and GOP activist Angie Meyer told FOX411's Pop Tarts column.

And from Wired blogger Scott Thill: "Superman has always been bigger than the United States. In an age rife with immigration paranoia, it’s refreshing to see an alien refugee tell the United States that it’s as important to him as any other country on Earth -- which, in turn, is as important to Superman as any other planet in the multiverse."

So, Superman was born on another planet. Maybe it makes sense for him to embrace a more global identity. What do you think?


From IGN Comics:

"This past Wednesday, DC Comics released the milestone Action Comics #900, which featured a short story in which Superman gives up his U.S. Citizenship. Not only did the mainstream media and its followers blow the plot point way out of proportion, blaming DC and the creators behind the tale of being unpatriotic and other such nonsense, but they failed to report the story correctly. I didn't think it was hard to actually read a story before commenting on it in a public forum, but I've been wrong before.

So just for the record:
Superman gives up citizenship to help the U.S. The story acknowledges Superman's association as an American icon and uses it for dramatic effect when his own actions are misconstrued by another country as an act of war in the name of the United States. Despite the conflicting editorial direction with the ongoing "Grounded" story arc, this has nothing to do with any real world politics. And judging by the fact that DC has yet to even acknowledge the "controversy" publicly, it's clear that they weren't anticipating it, nor do they think that it's something worth discussing at length.

And aside from that, Superman belongs to the world, regardless of what country he originated in or what a decades-old slogan proclaims. If the world needs anything in this day and age, it's an omnipresent unifying icon; who better than the Man of Steel?

UPDATE: It seems that DC Comics co-publishers Dan Didio and Jim Lee have made a statement to the
New York Post:

"Superman is a visitor from a distant planet who has long embraced American values. As a character and an icon, he embodies the best of the American Way. In a short story in Action Comics #900, Superman announces his intention to put a global focus on his never ending battle, but he remains, as always, committed to his adopted home and his roots as a Kansas farm boy from Smallville."

Take that,
Fox News"

Office Propaganda

They are perfect for your office walls, especially if you have an office manager with a sense of humour. Or decorate your cubicle with one or more of them. I'd say they even work in a home office. Need a new mouse pad? Grab one of these to remind yourself not to tweet what you had for lunch, while at work.

As always, they are available for print (at many sizes) at Or click on the image to take you directly to that print.

[Post this in cubicles or on the office wall]
That urge to check your Facebook page or send out a tweet can be very hard to suppress, especially when you have a few spare minutes in front of your computer at work. But each of those wall posts and tweets have a time peg so watch out. Or just do what the poster says (small print at bottom, "Unless it's part of your job description.")

[Post this above the water cooler]
Sure it's fun and exciting to hear about who hooked up with who at the last office party, or whether someone will get canned over a nasty company-wide email, but it can also hurt. So remember, if you don't want to hear it just walk away and if you do hear it, please don't repeat. (can you see the two larger faces? hint: they are profiles).

[Post this in cubicles or the office wall]
No one wants to be responsible for letting spyware into the company's computer system or setting a virus loose on the network, so don't open those attachments. Let your IT team take care of any downloads you think you need.

[Post this in the restrooms]
Do everyone a favour, when you use the restroom wash your hands afterward. And if you have to come in to work when you are feeling under the weather, wash up frequently, cough/sneeze into your elbow and avoid handshakes where possible.

[Post this in the breakroom or cafeteria]
It's simple. Pick up after yourself. I'm sure you have to do it at home so why stop at work. Plus it helps the cleaning staff.

The Simpsons Alphabet

Fan Art of the Day

Man Dressed as Cow Steals 26 Gallons of Milk

Got milk?

How about 26 gallons of it? One man did, at least for a little while. And that man was dressed in a cow costume.

In the category of You Can't Make This Stuff Up If You Tried, the 18-year-old crawled into a Stafford, Va., Walmart on all fours, reported

After standing, he loaded about $92 worth of milk into a shopping cart and simply rolled the cart out of the without paying, police have confirmed to NBC Washington.

He then attempted to give the milk away outside the store, and tried to flee the scene by skipping away, police said.

Jonathan Payton, 18, of North Stafford, Va., was given a summons and released at the scene.

Owen Hart: Remembering the Wrestling Legend Nearly 12 Years After His Death

Owen Hart was not only a top-notch wrestler, but also a top-notch person while he was wrestilng for the WWF. 

A person's life on earth should be remembered more by how they lived it, rather than how they died. This statement could not be more true when you look at the life of former WWF great Owen Hart.

Hart died during the 1999 Over the Edge WWE pay-per-view event (23 May 1999) when he fell 78 feet to his death after trying to perform a stunt where he was going to come out of the rafters, much like WCW legend Sting had done throughout his career.

Next month marks the 12 year anniversary of Hart's death, and it still serves as a chilling, heartbreaking reminder of how short life can be.

But for Owen Hart, he accomplished things over his 33 years on earth that others couldn't duplicate in their entire lifetime.

Hart was born into a wrestling family, son of wrestling legend Stu Hart, and was a natural from the moment he stepped into a ring at a very young age.

Born and raised in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, he got his start with Stampede Wrestling while he was still a teenager.

After joining the WWF, Hart continued to rise up the wrestling ranks, often being dubbed as one of the best technical wrestlers of his era.

His match against brother Bret Hart in SummerSlam '94 was one of the most iconic and memorable matches for not only Owen, but for many who have followed the sport over the years.

Hart was one of the best Canadian-born technical wrestlers in pro wrestling history. 
By the time he was tragically killed on that fateful day in '99, he had already won three different WWF championship belts a combined seven different times throughout his pro wrestling career.

But for many who knew him personally, Owen Hart is and will be remembered more for who he was as a person, rather than his accomplishments as a wrestler.

Former tag-team partner of Owen's and longtime WWE wrestler Jeff Jarrett said on  Raw Is Owen, the tribute show to Hart the day after his death, "In this business I guess you have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends, and Owen was one of those friends."

Veteran WWE announcer Jim Ross, who was broadcasting the event the night that Owen was killed, also said on  Raw is Owen, "All I can say about Owen Hart is I hope that I can be as good a man as him so I can see him again someday."

His widow Martha, and many other wrestlers who knew him, describe a man who was just as devoted to his family and others as he was when he was schooling his opponents in the ring.

If it wasn't for a malfunction with his harness at Over the Edge, he would likely still be in the ring today, entertaining the millions and impacting others with his infectious personality and winning attitude.

Billy Joel once recorded a song called "Only the Good Die Young." The title and meaning of this song couldn't be more relevant when dealing with the life of Owen James Hart.

You have to wonder if the WWE will bring this tribute in Owen Hart's memory up since 23 May is on a Raw night. Another I thing I have to point out is that it is not that Vince McMahon does not want to put him in the WWE Hall of Fame, as some people would claim; it is Owen's wife Martha doesn't want him to be associated with WWF/WWE at all anymore so her son doesn't get recognized for having a father that died tragically in a wrestling ring. Instead, WWE keep showing past matches and tributes to him. But because of Martha's lawsuits over the years WWE has to shy away from associating too close to Owen Hart.

Thanks for the memories Owen, you're still missed more than you could ever imagine.

Scarred For Life

Shark Behind Scuba Divers Photo Hoax

Email claims that an attached image showing a large shark very close behind a scuba-diving couple is a real photograph taken during a family holiday in Australia.

Brief Analysis
This image is not a genuine photograph. In fact, it is a composite picture created by manipulating two or more other images. The image was an entry in a Photoshop contest.

Detailed analysis and references below example.

Subject: Read before you look at the pic

Family on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15 year old son decided to go scooba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scooba experience.

His son wanted a pic of his mum and dad in all their gear so got the under water camera on the go. When it came to taking the pic the dad realized that the son look like he was panicking as he took it and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was alright.

The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely packing it.

When the parents asked why he said "there was a shark behind you" and the dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true and that they wouldn't believe him even if he told them what it was. As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop and this is what they saw.

(Try and tell me you wouldn't have emptied your entire digestive system right at the point you saw it)

Would you have stayed to take the picture??

Shark Behind Scuba Divers

Detailed Analysis
This striking image of a scuba diving couple being approached from behind by a very large shark is currently circulating via email. According to the message that comes with the picture, it was snapped by the couple's son during a family holiday in Australia. The relaxed demeanor of the divers adds to the visual impact of the picture since they are seemingly unaware of impending danger. What's more, the shark almost seems to be smiling, perhaps as it contemplates the tasty meal just ahead.

The message claims that both the pictured couple and the panicked youngster who snapped the photograph luckily made it back to the boat without becoming Great White Lunch. And it wasn't until they later viewed the photograph that the couple realized how close was their escape.

However, these claims are completely false and were apparently made up simply to provide a compelling background story to suit the image. Moreover, the image itself is not a genuine photograph, but a composite picture created by manipulating two or more other images. Research indicates that, in fact, the image was an entry in a Worth1000 Photoshop contest titled Vacation Bloopers 6. The entry was created by Worth1000 user "MataleoneRJ" and was titled My first diving in the vacations.

The deception becomes clear when one views the original, and unaltered, shark photograph (shown below). The Photoshop artist has cleverly merged an unrelated photograph of a diving couple with the shark photograph so that it appears that the shark is swimming just behind them. The placement of the divers in the manipulated image makes the shark appear to be much larger than it really is.

Original Shark Photograph

This shark image can be viewed on the Great White Adventures website.

Photoshop contest entries regularly escape the confines of the contest website and begin circulating via email and online, often accompanied by a fanciful tale invented by some unknown prankster. Within the context of the original contest website, the status of these manipulated images is quite clear and no deception is intended. However, once they stray outside of this context, these manipulated images are quite often good enough to fool many recipients into believing that they are genuine photographs.

Know Your Memefaces

Aww Yea Guy



Race Guy

Challenge Accepted

Forever Alone

Okay Guy

Today I Will Listen to Some X

Poker Face

Me Gusta

F*ck Yea

Everything went better than expected

The Game

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Two Lives, Bitches

The Three Faces of Alma (of F.E.A.R.)

South Park's Biggest Controversies

Looking back at some of the most notable times Matt and Trey have pushed the envelope.

In writing a feature on South Park's most controversial episodes, the most surprising revelation is realizing how many episodes weren't controversial. Take the 43 times the N-word is said in "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson", or Jesus being violently killed in "Fantastic Easter Special". Or the many, many times that Christianity and Judaism have been mocked. Or the slams on beloved celebrities, politicians and on and on and on.

Somehow, South Park has mostly immunized itself when it comes to parody. The show appears to be a crudely drawn and vulgar series but over the years it has become widely recognized as a smart commentary on virtually all aspects of our culture. So much so, that being depicted on South Park has become something of a badge of honor.

Considering its place in the pop culture landscape 13 years after its debut, the fact that South Park can still be controversial is a tribute to the talents of creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker. After the events of the most recent episode "201", in which the show was substantially censored by its network, we thought it was as good as time as any to round-up some previous controversies the show has created over the years.

With Apologies to the Irwin Family...

Its not always the big issues that garner attention for South Park. In this case, the show depicted late and beloved nature show host Steve Irwin. It was quite nearly a perfect joke, in which Satan thinks its really just someone dressed as Irwin (complete with sting ray in the chest) at his Halloween party. When Satan tells the man, "You're making some people uncomfortable," we learn that this is, in fact, the real Irwin - The joke going from Wouldn't-it-be-offensive-if-someone-dressed-this-way, to Steve Irwin-is-in-hell.

Even though the joke was presented in a way where it seemed even the creators felt bad about telling it (Satan himself found it offensive), it was understandably upsetting to Irwin's family. Irwin had been dead only seven weeks by the time the episode aired and this became one of those jokes that was a good example of something that was indeed too soon.

While South Park goes after entire groups of people, this once seemed more personal, especially with Irwin's young daughter and wife themselves being known to television audiences. This was an instance when many critics who love the show seemed to agree that it had gone too far.

No Celebrity (or Religion) Left Behind

This is a tour-de-force episode that mocked scientology - a religion that does not have an especially large following, but the following it does have happens to have a large concentration in Hollywood… which is the proverbial hand that feeds Parker and Stone.

"Trapped in the Closet" doesn't just go after Scientology, but specifically Tom Cruise, one of the biggest power players in Hollywood and one of Paramount's biggest stars. Which makes things touchy because Comedy Central and Paramount are owned by the same company - Viacom (which I've always felt sounds a lot like the enemy organization in a Final Fantasy game).

The episode lampoons Scientology's core beliefs, which involve alien ghosts and dark lords and spaceships. But the real target is the fact that the religion is a profit-earning enterprise. Add to this the fact that the episode is also a thinly veiled reference to rumors of Tom Cruises homosexuality and you've got a double whammy.

The source of the controversy here is actually a controversy in and of itself. Supposedly, this episode was so hated by Tom Cruise that he refused to do any publicity for Mission Impossible III until the episode was pulled from rotation, and never put onto DVD. Well, none of this came to pass as the episode was put back into repeats and was on that season's box set. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise denied ever having anything to do with any plot to ban the episode. Whether or not the controversy was real, it did wonders for publicity and was probably the most press the show had received up to this point.

Wait, You Can't Say That!

Episode:"It Hits the Fan"

South Park's most frequent theme could be summed up as, "Everybody needs to calm the hell down." Whether it's issues of language, sex, politics, or any number of hot button issues, one of Parker and Stones favorite targets is the overreaction to these issues.

In this episode, "It Hits the Fan," the show deliberately challenges the sensitivity to the word that has four letters, starts with "sh" and is a synonym for both defecation and the act of defecating. It all started with the network show Chicago Hope using the word once. This is a 10pm show that is watched almost exclusively by adults, yet the use of a word that every audience member likely uses daily was news.

So what does South Park do? They make fun of the situation by using the word on their own program 162 times. There was also a fun gag where Mr. Garrison, now an out-of-the-closet homosexual, realized he could say a derogatory slang word for gay person because he himself was gay. But if anyone else said it, it was bleeped.

This was one of those non-controversial controversies. People talked about it because it seemed like it SHOULD have been controversial. But the episode made such a salient point about the use of such a benign word that nobody really gave a, well, you know…

Desecration, Thy Name is South Park

Episode: "Bloody Mary"

The Season 9 episode, "Bloody Mary", asks the question, do you believe in Miracles? This specific miracle involves a statue of the Virgin Mary - bleeding heavily from the anus. You don't have to be Catholic, or even Christian, to know this is pretty offensive stuff. You've got the Pope inspecting the private regions of Mary, you've got Randy getting doused in what appears to be anal blood. The ultimate revelation is that Mary isn't bleeding from the anus, but from the vagina. And since this kind of thing happens all the time, it is deemed not a miracle.

It might not be considered at true controversy when the most vocal group upset about this is the Catholic League. Lead by Bill Donohue, the Catholic League gets offended by just about any perceived slight to the Catholic faith. It might have something to do with the fact that Donohue himself seems to be an attention grabbing media hog, who has never seen a microphone he doesn't like.

As a sign of South Park's growing cultural influence, Donohue was actually flattered when South Park included him in a later episode, "Fantastic Easter Special." This episode featured Kyle violently killing Jesus, and Jesus then beheading Donohue himself (who had been made the new Pope) - with a glaive, no less, from the 80s fantasy flick Krull. Was this offensive? Sure. But Donohue liked his inclusion enough that he has a still from it in his office. Go figure.

The Family Guy Factor

Episodes: "Cartoon Wars, Part 1" and "Part 2"

The biggest reason this episode was controversial is due to Comedy Central's pre-emptive censorship. However, the biggest clamor about the episode from many viewers was not the possible depiction of the Muslim prophet Mohammed, but instead the outright attack on fellow animated shows The Simpsons and especially Family Guy. The deeper, more complex issue of religious intimidation and censorship was overshadowed by Family Guy fans vs. South Park fans, with many fans who enjoy both caught in the middle.

The episode itself aired shortly after the controversy that surrounded a Danish newspaper printing an offensive cartoon of Mohammed. That cartoon lead to riots and death threats in Europe, which understandably had Comedy Central a bit wary of running a depiction of the prophet for the sole purpose of a throwaway gag. While the depiction was likely not offensive in nature, any depiction can be considered blasphemy.

In the plot of the episode, Family Guy ends up actually running the clip of Mohammed in a cutaway gag in which he gives Peter a football helmet. Nothing bad ends up happening, despite the great fears of the residents of South Park. The irony of course is that while nothing happens in the episode, Comedy Central the network decided to censor the scene by blacking it out, with the following words appearing on screen, explaining what we would have seen: "In this shot, Mohammed hands a football helmet to Family Guy. Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammed on their network."

In this instance, the biggest controversy happened AFTER the censoring. That's not the case with what was to come.

Matt & Trey vs. Extremists

Episodes: "200" and "201"

This has to top the list because it is, as far as we know, the only episode of South Park to actually lead to (thinly veiled) death threats. The mere SUGGESTION of showing the prophet Mohammed in the episode lead to a (now defunct) Muslim extremist website suggesting Matt and Trey could suffer the same fate as slain Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh. The grievous offense was suggesting that the prophet was inside a bear costume, which they viewed as insulting and a form of showing a visual representation.

The website, Revolution Islam, insists they weren't threatening Parker and Stone. They just showed a photo of the murdered body of Van Gogh and said, "Could this happen to the South Park creators?" And then provided information about their home in Colorado and the location of Comedy Central in Los Angeles. Stay classy, extremists!

While it was episode "200" that brought the spotlight on the series (once again), it was episode "201" that ended up getting censored nearly to death. The entire end of the show was censored by Comedy Central. All references to Mohammed where bleeped. Kyle's ENTIRE final speech was bleeped. It was seemingly done in a way that was a kind of meta-joke about censorship. It wasn't until a statement from Matt and Trey that we learned this was not the case. Comedy Central got scared.

It's hard to blame the executives at the station for not wanting to put their employees at risk. At the same time, it's painful to see an American cable network being bullied by thugs and murderers. At the time we wrote this piece, the full contents of the episode remain unknown. Matt and Trey said the final speech was about intimidation… but it was censored due to intimidation. In this case, we are actually witnessing South Park's ability to remain relevant unfold in real time. And perhaps someday we'll hear what it was they actually had to say.

Why South Park Still Matters

South Park will begin Season 15 this week, with no sign of slowing down or losing its edge. While most series of its kind are gradually winding down and losing the luster that made them famous, Trey and Matt are still controversial, still true to themselves, and still making boatloads of money.

South Park is still relevant; in fact it may be the most important comedy on air today. From reasons that are financial to artistic, here's why...

It Brings Comedy Central Tons of Cash
Before South Park debuted back in the summer of 1997, Comedy Central was a network without much to offer. Some of you may remember the endless sitcom reruns and ancient episodes of The Benny Hill Show.

Then South Park came around, and everything changed. The crude, controversial show brought media attention and hordes of curious young fans to the network. Comedy Central wasn't even in most markets until the South Park fever caught on, and so many people requested that Comedy Central be added to their cable systems that the channel became available in over 50% of American homes by 1998.

Comedy Central has certainly broadened its lineup in recent years, and scored major wins with acquisitions like Futurama, but South Park is still their most well-known property and their highest-rated series. The premiere for the 2010 season had 3.7 million viewers -- the show's highest-rated season premiere since 1998. In 2004, Comedy Central (which owns the series) sold the syndication rights for an estimated $100 million. Then there are the untold millions the series has earned from international merchandising. To say the series is a cash cow would be a vast understatement.

That money means the network is all but guaranteed profitability, and it lets them take risks and invest in new shows.

South Park Pushes the Industry Forward 
When South Park aired the "Cartoon Wars, Part 2" episode and slammed Seth MacFarlane and the Family Guy writing staff for questionable quality in joke telling (it's written by manatees!), MacFarlane and his crew couldn't do much but smile and take it on the chin. Few comedians dare to take on Trey and Matt, because they know they'll get roasted. It's not just because the South Park team are masters of satire; they also have a certain gravitas. At the end of the day, they can always point to their long list of accolades, awards, and critical acclaim, and say "Are YOU doing any better?" South Park is now the bar by which other animated shows are measured, and although most of them fall short, they're at least trying harder.

South Park changed the animation genre by showing that you didn't need a high animation budget to make a great show – you just needed great writing. Many series followed suit, and most of Adult Swim's current and past original series have taken the South Park model, with varying results. Crudely animated, shoestring budget shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 started a copycat trend that's continuing today, but those shows couldn't quite emulate the brilliant subversive humor of South Park.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have become well-known for their amazing ability to crank out episodes in seemingly impossible time frames. Oftentimes episodes are delivered on the day they're supposed to air, and weren't we all impressed and amazed by the post-election day brilliance of "About Last Night..."? South Park's production process makes everyone else in the biz look like slackers.

The series has also been at the forefront of digital broadcasting. offers full episodes immediately after the show has aired on television, and Trey and Matt inked an unprecedented deal that gives them a 50-50 split of ad revenues that come from Internet versions of South Park. Creators almost never see ad revenue, and this deal serves as a new talking point in the battle for writers and directors who want to be fairly compensated for their work on digital platforms.

It's Some of the Best Social Commentary on TV 
South Park's key feature is its ability to ridicule the ridiculous. When South Park roasted Kanye West, even he had to admit they got him. When the show took on Glenn Beck, it nailed the pundit by simply and beautifully imitating him. Whenever the series takes on a social issue or current event, they make surprisingly salient points through their satire.

There's a certain level of fearlessness surrounding South Park. It started from the beginning, when the creators weren't afraid of a TV-MA label, and stuck to their guns, and you can see it today in episodes like "200" and "201", where Trey and Matt took on religious extremism and earned serious death threats because of it. Despite the censoring of those episodes, the point came through, and of all things, an animated comedy show about foul-mouthed nine-year-olds was lauded for treading where no one else in the business would.

In an age where millions of people feel disgusted and disenfranchised by mainstream media coverage of current events, South Park found its audience by simply telling it like it is. The show routinely rejects political correctness, and questions the social norms of its time. It speaks to a generation of people that is tired of being told what to do by people from another era, with outmoded sensibilities. The series provides an unfiltered view of its topics, and treats its viewing audience like adults (adults who like poop humor, but adults nonetheless).

The Humor is as Good as it Ever Was 
With the possible exceptions of Futurama and The Venture Bros., most of the animated comedies currently on air have seen better days. The consensus among fans and critics is that the glory days of The Simpsons are gone, Family Guy is hit or miss every week, and Aqua Teen doesn't even register on the radar anymore.

But South Park is still hilarious, and socially relevant. Each episode of last season had the potential to set off a media frenzy, and although there were some low points, the best episodes of the season rivaled any of the Greatest Hits from the series' history.

Part of the brilliance of the show is its flexibility and range. One week it might be a celebrity spoof, the next week it may be a comedic homage to classic films like Tron or Scarface, one week it may be mostly toilet humor, and the next it may be something entirely original from the twisted minds of the writing team. The episodes are hardly formulaic, and that's what keeps the show fresh. You never know exactly what to expect, and that's what keeps us coming back for more.

South Park: Season 15 debuts Wednesday, April 27th at 10:00pm ET/PT on Comedy Central.

Do You Actually Say Hi For Others?

Doghouse Diaries

Weapons You Might Need During A Zombie Apocalypse

Tribes Of The Indian Nation

What Men Look For In A Woman

Know Your Knife

The Facebook 'Like' Button As It Appears To People Around The World

The Idea Behind Simple Explanation

Mercedes Jumpman?

The Anatomy of a Heartbreak

“If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two.”

 “If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two.”

The Story Behind WWE's Infamous "Plane Ride From Hell"


If backstage fights can be seen as "shoot wrestling matches", the infamous "Plane Ride from Hell" of 2002 can easily be considered the Royal Rumble of such events.

In an unnecessary real life example of why alcohol, planes, and jocks do not mix, the WWE RAW crew virtually imploded during a fateful plane ride back to the states after the WWE Insurrextion pay-per-view in London.

The events during the Plane Ride from Hell played out like a bad, overbooked episode of RAW.
Then road agent and WWE Hall of Famer "Freebird" Michael Hayes was one of the key figures during the chaos that ensued on that plane.

Hayes would enter into a war of words with, you guessed it, JBL. JBL promptly laid out Freebird, thus setting the tone for an ominous chain of events to warrant such a demonic nickname for a flight.

But it didn't end there. A couple of wrestlers decided to teach Hayes a lesson by cutting his hair whilst he slept. Not surprisingly Sean ''X-Pac'' Waltman did the honours. Hayes awoke to find his new shorter hair-do and went ballistic. With Kevin Nash not on tour due to injury, and Scott Hall semi-conscious after drinking, Waltman didn't have a lot of backup, but somehow managed to avoid a beating. Hayes' mullet was stapled to the wall backstage at the next RAW taping! and hayes blew another fuse.
The fun continued with an intoxicated Ric Flair parading around the plane wearing nothing but his trademark robe and exposed himself to a female flight attendant.

Providing the evening's entertainment, Dustin "Goldust" Rhodes used the flight's PA system to serenade his ex-wife Terri Runnels in an uncomfortable display. Oddly enough, Rhodes' serenade was one of the few occurrences that compelled then President of talent relations Jim Ross to enforce his authority by shutting down the impromptu Karaoke. Dustin Rhodes was in the doghouse for a long time and was publicly dropped by WWE in late 2003 with a statement announcing his contract would not be renewed when it expired in January 2004, although he has returned to the WWE since.

Curt Henning and a soon-to-be comatose Scott Hall managed to get their hands on canisters of shaving cream. The contents inside the cream would wind up on multiple individuals. Scott Hall would passed out soon after.

But the fun didn't stop there for Henning. The man once known as Mr. Perfect had become liquored up enough to challenge NCAA World Class Wrestler and former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar to a fight, insisting he was a better amateur wrestler than Brock.

Did they check these guys for PCP?

In what would prove to be the climax of the Plane Ride from Hell, Lesnar shot in and drove Henning into the side of the plane, coming dangerously close to a plane door. Eventually, several others on the flight, including Dave Finley, Triple H, and Paul Heyman had to separate the pair. There was no heat on Lesnar at the time as the blame was placed on Hennig's end.

The events were enough to warrant repercussions that were as newsworthy as the joyride itself.
Both Curt Henning and Scott Hall were released from their contracts as a result of their actions on this infamous plane ride. Scott Hall was so docile on the trip that people had to check his pulse to see if he was still alive!

In a flight where President of talent relations Jim Ross, road agents Michael Hayes, Gerry Briscoe, Dave Finley, and Arn Anderson, senior writers Stephanie McMahon (the boss' daughter), Paul Heyman, and WWE's conscious The Undertaker were all present, the summation of authoritative stroke on that plane did not stop some of the most outrageous personalities in wrestling from going buck wild.

Jim Ross, in his now-defunct Ross Report on, stated the following about the flight in his first column after the tour: "The flight was about seven hours in length and at times was low-lighted by a handful of people who consumed too much alcohol and consequently acted like children whose parents were away and left the liquor cabinet unlocked. The conduct of this inebriated minority was unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Procedures have been put in place to ensure such conduct does not occur in the future."

The bottom line is this: yours truly is the person in charge of the talent roster and the buck stops with me. We will do all we humanly can to solve the problem.

In the same column, Ross noted that Scott Hall (who said to have been asleep during the flight) was not involved with any of the major incidents. Hall was soon be gone from WWE as his release was announced several days after the UK tour. There were reports that Hall wasn't in the best of condition during the tour, but he was signed shortly after his release to appear by the then-debuting NWA:TNA promotion.

This, along with the multiple isolated conflicts resulting from one plane ride, and the ensuing casualties, is what makes The Plane Ride from Hell the most infamous shoot brawl between wrestlers in WWE history.

At least the only person who maintained character was Scott Hall.