Snake Dies of Silicone Poisoning

At a recent photo shoot in Tel Aviv, Israeli model Orit Fox, whose last name is kind of a lie, got a little too friendly with a snake (an actual snake.)

Fox was comfortable with the animal throughout the shoot, wrapping it around her neck, back and legs, but as soon as the Z-list personality went in the for the kiss, the snake reacted badly.

Why? Well, because it's a motherf*cking snake. It's obviously got ONE famous mode of communication -- its tongue. So why the hell would you stick your tongue out at it? You have NO IDEA what you're saying in snake. You could be insulting its mother, or maybe even possibly its tooth-length (you don't know what's insulting to snakes.)

Well, clearly the woman said something along the lines of a holocaust joke to the snake and it went in for a huge bite of her new insensitive enemy by biting her on the breast as hard as it could.

Being a model for a living, she has fake breasts and when the snake went in for the kill, it unleashed poison from her breasts in the form of silicone. The snake had been poisoned by something inside a blonde model with fake breasts, just like a lot of us, but unfortunately for the very-offended snake, it didn't live to deal with the Carmex and died of silicone poisoning.

Or so goes the headline. Animal experts have contended that snakes cannot die of silicone poisoning, but several online publications beg to differ.