June 19th, 2009 - The Day I Left The Uni

Can it be?

The last day ever in Loughborough University?

I mean, I have been dreaming about this day since I first started the second semester but I never thought I would actually be here... And to be honest, I'm glad it's almost over.

Don't get me wrong, it was the greatest time of my academic life and it really shaped me in a lot of ways as an individual.

So what happened?

Let's just say I finally opened up my eyes to life and truth, and although it sucked like hell going through the pain in many cases, it was a necessary development.

Yes, it made me realized a lot of things and forced me to change into who I am now. A lot of people who thought they knew me before were taken by surprise and some actually abhor the new me. Too bad, this version is staying for at least another ten years and I do not give a flying rabbit's dick if you don't like it. This is change is good (albeit necessary) for me to better prepare myself for life after studies. If this means I have to review the social relationships that I have with the people I know, so be it. For better or for worse, it will be me who will bear the consequences.

No, I won't go into detail about my retrospection on how University changed and affected me. This is not a woman's magazine, an emo blog nor whatever the hell they print tell-all confessions in. I'm just saying you grow over the years, and being in University certainly helped if not accelerated the process. I outgrew a lot of things that I used to deem necessary to my image, and a lot of people associated with the unnamed things will certainly feel it once I'm back home. A certain confidant once told me, "I didn't leave my old friends because I want to; it's because I had to". He did it so because he can become who he is now and wants to become - a success. He kept it real, and I will do that as well. I'm sorry in advance, but we all have to move on.

There you go. If I had to deliver a speech on graduation day, this will be it. But I'm not and I won't, because I rather read it here over and over again to remind myself that the old life is all over and at the same time a new life is about to begin. It may sound trivial or overboard to whoever is reading this, but deep down... You know this is all damn true.

...

R.I.P. Arbi bin Ahmad. It's been eleven years now. We miss you granddad.